I’m sitting in Brooklyn , NY where I live … staring at the water , enjoying the sunset , lights , and people . Thinking about how I only wished I would live here one day , that I would have this life . Now I do and I attained it by being honest about where I was in order to get to where I am, I called myself out on my bullshit .
I lived a life before now full of lies , having to lie as a child for my mother and then carried those lies into my adulthood to protect myself , manipulate others , and keep me safe (So I thought) but really it was pathological, embedded in my DNA .
TRUTH is lies keep us sick … they create a deep inability to attach . I rather someone hate me for the truth than love me for a lie . Lies make sense to us in the moment when we are telling them and the truth seems impossible to roll off our tongues in moments of distress . Depending on our situations the truth can be scary, even terrifying. We are scared of what we may lose , so we rather keep it by lying .
Lying doesn’t only hurt others but it hurts us , when we start to lie so much we start believing our lies , making it hard to differentiate our realities . You’ve told others so many lies and your self that it becomes second nature , like breathing . We unintentionally start creating a reality around us and the people involved that is not true , that is not real . The anxiety that comes with that for most of us is unbearable , because everything done in the dark must come to the light so here we are waiting for our bullshit to be exposed … any day now .
How can we love unconditionally based on lies ? How can we have unwavering loyalty based off lies? How can we trust ? How can we communicate which is the basis of relationships, we lay our foundation with the truth , that is the number one building block , if it’s not the truth then it’s a facade waiting to be exposed . By lying you create broken relationships before they have a chance .
Now I won’t sit here and say I don’t lie , anyone who says they don’t , the truth is not in them . However it’s important to admit your lies at some point and reconcile , admit them to the person you’ve lied to , to yourself , and to god . You have one shot at this life… only one , use this time wisely , use it to comfort others , to help and not harm. Set aside your childish cowardly ways and step into your truth for “the truth shall set u free”